Crashed
by Miss Seraphine
Summary: What would happen if the person you loved the most died? Would you continue to live, or would you lose your mind? A tragic Eriol x Tomoyo story, including some Sakura x Syaoran.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

An envelope lay on top of the table. A black, unwrinkled envelope on which there were words scribbled in white. Addressed to loved ones. Those who are treasured. They are carried by uncoloured, little wings, like tiny birds. Flies that can only live their lives for one day. When they touch the ground, their tender mechanism perishes. When warmth embraces them, they crumble to ashes.

They travelled from far away, above green land and blue oceans, underneath grey skies like today's. They shall not screech, for they came in mournfulness and move themselves in silence. They fly through Tomoeda, along the buildings in a nearby city which offers opportunities, choices and paths. It's where a couple tries to fight the aggressive wind and rain. It's the most restless January within living memory.

"Sakura!"

"Yes!"

There is also restlessness in his voice. The young man pushes a metal key into the lock and the front door slams open. The stairs to the rooms shudder. The girl runs, somewhat scared, into their home where after he closes the door with all his might. They put their trunks leaning to the wall and plump down on the couch. Then nothing.

The answering machine's LED flickers. The windows shake in their frames. There is an envelope on the table. It's black like a night's clear sky. Small, wondering hands pick her up. The envelope's skin scorches: the ashes whirl down to the carpet. A letter folds open.

Shock. Grief.

Recorded messages serve as a confirmation. The names of their owners flash on the display. Daidouji Residence, Kinomoto Residence, Terada Residence and many more. Tears roll over the loving young lady's cheeks, the one who always cares about others. Her face hides into the woollen sweater covering the chest of the man with messy, chocolate brown hair, who had wrapped his strong arms around her. He stays silent, staring over her shoulder to the elegantly written black framed letter that fell to the floor.

_Kaho Mizuki_


	2. Chapter 1: Red Roses

**Chapter 1 – Red Roses**

Familiar faces. Grey faces. Black gowns. Like colour television had not yet been invented. It's like Eriol is watching an old drama in which his favourite actors play the leading parts. However, he cannot express his amusement.

She would have looked ravishing, Kaho would. Her unimaginable long, red hair put up neatly which made her perfectly shaped ears visible. They wear the beloved crystal earrings Eriol gave her once. There she is. Wearing her black dress, dazzling in all her glory by just being there. When she walks, with her small but quick steps, her feet keep hidden underneath her whirling dress. Like she's floating. Eriol's gaze follows the short nodding of her head, the swift movements of her arms and shoulders. Her attracting, bare neck pulls his longing eyes towards her. They stray off to the spaghetti straps around her shoulders, which are so temptingly easy to untie. She turns her head. Her beautiful, fiery eyes, that can look so gentle anyway, fix themselves upon him. He parts his lips slowly and tends to lift up his arm.

"Eriol."

Nakuru's hand brushed his softly. It made him feel like her touch startled him in a way that made him tremble on his skinny legs. But in reality, he didn't move a muscle. She was gone. She was gone… He stared at the empty spot next to the gigantic tree that had lost his leaves early last year. Nevertheless, it seemed like she was still there, secretly, as no one set foot on that particular spot when they walked to the shrine. In his mind he smiled, comforting himself.

--

The wind lay down. The rain was restrained. But the sky was ever so grey, ever so sober. The leaves rustle over the ground outside the Tsukimine shrine. Sakura clasped her hand in Syaoran's and weakly leaned to him. There were rings under her eyes: she hadn't been able to sleep due to her worrying. A young lady her age came towards her in a quick pace. Her wavy, dark hairs were twined into a braid that bounced onto her back when she walked. She wore a black skirt with a neat, dark grey blouse and short heels.

"Sakura-chan!"

She grabbed her hands together and looked at her worriedly. "Are you alright?"

Sakura pulled up the corners of her mouth. "I'm fine. It's good to see you, Tomoyo-chan."

"I didn't receive any replies from you… Li-kun wouldn't let me talk to you on the phone," she said disappointed, glancing at Syaoran, who sighed.

"I understand your worries, Daidouji-san, but Sakura really needed her rest," he said, while laying his hand onto his girlfriend's shoulder.

Sakura shook her head. Her light brown hairs followed her movements. "I gladly would have spoken to you, Tomoyo-chan. I'm sorry, you shouldn't have worried so much." She pinched her best friend's hands gently.

Tomoyo smiled back with difficulty.

--

"Kaho-san… To me, Kaho-san was… a role model. I think."

Nakuru tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and giggled nervously. "She was the most beautiful woman in our lives. Our lives, yes. She was what made us complete. She was that mysterious chemical addition to the strange blend called us." As her eyes softened and she stayed silent for a few seconds, she glanced at Spinel, sitting on Eriol's lap, supposed to play a stuffed animal serving as a mascot. The group of people looked at her in expectation. "I remember the first time Kaho-san would came to visit our mansion in England. We had agreed on meeting her at 3 o'clock sharp, but in the end, she arrived at 6 o'clock, after Eriol went looking for her. She got lost because she forgot the street name." Nakuru laughed and the people laughed with her. "We chose Tsukimine… Because this was her home. Even if she has spent a big part of her life in Engeland with us, Japan is her place of birth. She grew up here, she went to school here, she fell in love for the first time here…"

Touya stared at his lap. His head was empty, thoughtless.

"This is where she swept the pavement as a miko," Nakuru smiled. "Kaho-san… I'll never forget you, Kaho-san. Everything you have done for me… I will cherish it." She lightly tapped her chest and took a bow.

The ceremony passed peacefully: After Nakuru's speech, there were a few words from some Mizuki family members and to end it off, a self written piano composition by Eriol himself, which moved everyone to the most. While his slender fingers hit the keys, Tomoyo sighed. On her left side, Sakura was holding a pink handkerchief pressed to her mouth, withholding her sobs.

The sound was drowning. Eriol caressed the grand piano without even thinking about what he was doing. The heavens moaned and the rain poured down heavily once again. The water filled the shrine, it took the guests away. They were cleared away. Eriol hit the last pair of keys and looked up. One last chair had remained standing. Two slender legs, crossed over each other. Familiar light pink painted nails. Clasped hands covered the knees. _Ka-_

No, she was underneath green sodding now. Her chest deep inside of the earth. The hole was being covered up now. Amethyst eyes instead of amber ones. Tomoyo faintly smiled at him. He immediately turned his head and accidentally bit his lip, something he usually never did. Nakuru spoke to the invited ones where after everyone got from their seats and moved house, Nakuru leading them. Spinel jumped, unseen, from her shoulder and touched down onto the grand piano in front of Eriol.

"The hardest part is over now, Eriol," he spoke. "You'll have to speak to your guests in a moment. Is there anything I can do for you? How about a cup of tea?"

His master didn't look at him. "Maybe rain is more suitable," he muttered. "Rain… To wash away that which isn't needed." The sky groaned at his words.

--

Yoshiyuki and Rika Terada joined Sakura and the others to exchange their condolences. Tomoyo had been very busy with her study and to her, her friends looked like they had changed dramatically. Like she hadn't seen them for years. But out all of them, Eriol was the most recognizable. Why did he still look practically the same? Of course, he looked older. His hair was slightly longer. He wore the same glasses, though. But… _Oh, he's coming this way._

Eriol had stepped into the group of people. His black jacket was unbuttoned now and opened due to the adverse wind as he moved towards their direction. While he came closer, his pitch-black hair seemed to change to a shade of dark grey. Tomoyo swallowed. Maybe she hadn't looked well enough. Sakura turned around. Her little black dress whirled around her legs.

"Eriol-kun… Eriol-kun…!" Again, her tears broke free. She ran towards him and flung herself into his arms, hid her face in his shirt like she did with Syaoran two days ago, who now observed them and crossed his arms.

"I'm so… sorry! I'm… I'm so terribly sorry!" Sakura sobbed, her shoulders shaking.

Eriol put his one hand on her back and with the other one, caressed through her hairs, which were sticky because of the salty tears.

"Don't, Sakura-san. You are nothing to blame of. Only grieve her death, for I am happy my heart is still able to beat. There is no other reason for you to cry."

Sakura wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him closer to her, not being able to utter a single word. Eriol cupped her chin and made her look at him.

"Do you promise me that, dearest Sakura-san?"

Sakura's lower lip trembled heavily. Tears ran down her flushed cheeks from her swollen emerald eyes. "Mm…" She pressed her lips together and nodded.

He took her handkerchief and dried her face tenderly, whereupon he gave her a fatherly kiss on the forehead. Syaoran now stood next to them and pulled Sakura back to his side. He made a short bow in front of Eriol.

"You have my sympathy," he humbly spoke.

"Thank you… Syaoran-kun," Eriol answered smiling, to which his descendant nodded. "I would appreciate it if you'll dine with us tomorrow evening. In honour of Kaho. To be very honest, it was originally Ruby Moon's idea, but I happily agreed to it…"

Tomoyo watched them form a distance, her arms wrapped around herself because of the increasing cold. Sakura and Syaoran nodded and left Eriol standing, moving towards Fujitaka and Touya, whom they hadn't yet spoken to that afternoon.

"Daidouji-san. It's been a long time."

"That's for sure, Hiiragizawa-san," Tomoyo said, agreeing with him and not shocked of his sudden appearance in front of her. She took a deep bow for her old friend. "Please accept my sympathies. It is a great loss." She threw her braid backwards and folded her hands together. Eriol nodded gratefully and observed her shining, perfectly manicured nails. "But as you might still remember, gathering from my letters, I have little free time left due to my study. Which I very much regret." Her fingers stroked each other. Was she nervous? "I hope you understand." She smiled just as faintly as during the ceremony, which lightly annoyed Eriol.

Tomoyo found it hard to look in his eyes. They were so empty, like bottomless wells. Ocean blue puddles without any ripples. Hypnotising. His once dark hairs were now bleached with shades of gray, hanging lifeless alongside his pale face. Suddenly he grabbed both her wrists and looked interested at her hands.

"Hiiragizawa-kun?" Tomoyo blinked and tried to pull her hands back carefully, but he strengthened his grip. He turned them this way and that, stroked her palms and followed the lines that were etched in them. "…What do you see?"

Eriol looked up, his horrible empty eyes looking straight into hers. "I see… You… I see what I see. What I always have seen… I can see you… Heh." He grinned in a way that frightened her. "You can never leave me alone, can you?"

Tomoyo silenced, she was speechless. _What did this do to you, Hiiragizawa-kun? Why does your soul no longer speak and why do you blindly follow that which you can see? What is it that…_

"Daidouji-san," he said, getting something from his inner pocket. "I'm asking you to join me at my dinner tomorrow night. I would like to chat with you in person again, instead of writing long letters, for which we both no longer have the time. Sakura-san and Li-kun will also be there. It would please me greatly." He offered her a single red rose in bloom, one exactly like the flower he placed on an auburn chest during the ceremony, and left.

Like nothing ever changed.

--

**A/N:** Let me know what you think by leaving a review! (Flaming isn't appreciated.) Could be you noticed some spelling or grammar mistakes... Sorry 'bout that, English isn't my native language. I'm trying to improve as much as I can! It's all still a bit vague now, but that'll change in the later chapters.


	3. Chapter 2: Mistaken

**Chapter 2 – Mistaken**

"_Itai_!"

Tomoyo tripped. She bit her lip, due force of habit, and squeezed her eyes. Her knee was throbbing. She pulled herself up, but the pain made her huddle up again. Her ankle… She could no longer stand on it. She examined her knee, where her pantyhose was now torn apart. The spot was replaced by scraped skin. The damsel in distress looked around desperately, but it was very uncommon for people to still be out on the street at this time. Her eye wept against her wish. She rummaged around, looking for her purse, and experienced a joint of happiness when she felt the smooth material lying in the gutter. She zipped it open and groped about in the lilac handbag, now searching for her cell phone.

_The cutlery clanged with the plates. The atmosphere was quite uneasy and silence began to take over. Kero-chan cut a piece of pork tenderloin from Sakura's plate, to which Sakura did not even try to react. He widened his mouth the best he could and crammed the meat where after his cheeks started glowing and he satisfyingly rubbed his tummy. Spinel swished his tail._

_Eriol, seated at the head of the excessive long table, wiped his mouth off with a serviette which he, after doing so, put back on his lap. He wore a midnight blue shirt with Chinese influences this evening, which matched his eyes perfectly. On his left side there was Nakuru, being awfully quiet with little Spinel on top of her head. Next to her was Syaoran seated, who did not know how to act. On Eriol's right side there was Tomoyo, whom he was just pouring another glass of wine. Next to her sat Sakura and the scoffing Kero-chan._

_Nakuru cleared her throat. "Ne, how's the food? I insisted on cooking tonight, hearing you would come. Of course, Eriol did help me with it..."_

_Eriol smiled at her and sipped his red wine. "You were perfectly capable of doing it yourself, Ruby Moon. Don't be too modest, it's not very like you."_

_Nakuru blew up her cheeks out of embarrassment. "Mou… Eriol…"_

_Sakura nodded sleepily, her eyes only half open. "It was delicious, I very much enjoyed it."_

_"But…" Nakuru blinked and covered her mouth with her fists. "You barely touched it…" She mumbled._

_"Sakura-chan, you hardly got any sleep, isn't that right?" Tomoyo remarked worriedly. She bended towards her friend, who smiled faintly._

_"I'm okay… Don't worry about it."_

However, because of her trembling hands, the silver phone escaped from her grip and grazed across the pavement. Tomoyo's bottom lip started bleeding as she bit it harder. The frustration went to her head. She heard footsteps behind her. Panicking, she crawled towards the shrine's entrance. _What am I doing?_ She could no longer think clearly.

"Daidouji-san?"

Tomoyo was startled by the voice that had frightened her so much earlier and she held her breath. In the corner of her eye she could see something flashing in the moonlight. Gold.

"Dear God, what happened to you?"

The voice sounded anxiously, maybe even slightly scared, now he had let off his guard and dropped his Japanese words, and spoke English. He had bended himself over her silhouette. She could see the golden sun key dangle around his neck. Tomoyo hid her face in her hands.

"Can you… Can you walk?"

"Can't," she muttered in English.

She heard him cough and switch back to Japanese. "Is it alright for me to touch you?"  
Tomoyo stayed silent. Her breath was heavy and irregular, she was nervous and she didn't know what to do. She wished he hadn't come after her, then maybe she would've had the chance to call her bodyguards or maybe she wouldn't even have fallen in the first place. She wished she had turned down the dinner.

_Sakura and Syaoran skipped dessert and left earlier than expected because of Sakura's condition. Just to be polite, Tomoyo decided to stay and taste the homemade ice cream (about which Spinel didn't know a thing) and have tea afterwards. They had moved to the living room, where Eriol took out his most beautiful Chinese tea set and poured her a cuppa._

_"Earl Grey, Kaho's favourite," he mentioned._

_"Ah, I see."_

_Tomoyo's thoughts strayed off to the red rose she had received yesterday. After coming home, she asked the maid to bring her a small, glass vase in which she properly put the beautiful flower. It had such grace and so much meaning, although Tomoyo couldn't tell what it was._

_"Kaho and I… We never had any plans to get married. We were together and that was enough, we didn't need a legitimate marriage to seal our love. To us, it was real enough. That was sufficient," the bespectacled young man seated in the large red arm chair told her, and he nipped his hot tea, not noticing how much he accented his view on how they could be happy without the rings._

_"I've always believed that, Hiiragizawa-san," Tomoyo admitted shyly, while pushing her legs tightly together._

_"Is that so?" Eriol smiled. "I wouldn't have expected any different from you, to be honest."_

_Tomoyo imitated his expression and smoothened her skirt._

_"Have you ever thought of getting married, Daidouji-san?"_

_What was his intention by bringing up this subject? Tomoyo unconsciously shook her head and thought of Sakura and Syaoran. Happily engaged, soon to be married. Their marriage would most likely take place in Hong Kong, where Syaoran's family would organize a huge party. His sisters are probably ecstatic. No one had told her anything yet, but Tomoyo did have an idea of how it would be. She was hoping to design Sakura's dress._

_Eriol replaced his now empty cup on the tabletop, whereupon Tomoyo glanced at the grandfather clock standing against the wall._

_"I'm afraid I have to go," she said apologetically. "Mother is expecting me to not arrive too late at home." She politely waited until Eriol got up from his seat._

_He looked at her for a moment. His face half resting in his palm, his arm leaning on the elbow-rest of his chair. His mischievous look reminded Tomoyo of the old times, when he was caused to help Sakura create her Sakura Cards._

_"Hm. Very well then," he then courteously said, somewhat against his wish. His eyes still looking the same, he stood up. "I will let you out. I greatly appreciated your visit, Daidouji-san. I hope to speak you and Sakura-san more often. I happen to be in the neighbourhood for some time, you see. For business." They stood in the doorway now, where the light from a candle in a glass box hanging above the porch was shadowing them._

_"Regarding Mizuki-san, I presume?"_

"Something like that, yes."

_Eriol tenderly took her hand in his and put it to his lips, whereupon Tomoyo felt a shiver run down her spine. He was standing awfully close. And in such a position that it was difficult to manoeuvre herself around him. Her hand was still captured._

_"Has anyone ever told you you're hands are absolutely wonderful?" he asked her, studying her hands just like he did yesterday. "Typical… Feminine hands…"_

_Tomoyo shook her head. "It's necessary I treat my hands well. I work a lot with them, you know. I still love to design clothing and I sew them myself. I also spend much time to cooking. Oh, and not to forget painting. Do you still paint, Hiiragizawa-san?"_

_She tried to subtly change the subject, although she had no clue why exactly she would. Eriol's eyes lighted up and he unconsciously let go of her._

_"Ah, we'll save that conversation for a next time. I really have to go now."_

_"You remind me of something," he said, ignoring her later remark. "Yes indeed, I do still paint. It calms me. As a matter of fact, I actually took out the white canvas yesterday. I'll have to throw away the clothes I wore while working on it. I pretty much lost myself in it." __He laughed. Laughed, like they were discussing one of Yamazaki's lies or a funny costume Tomoyo had on her mind for Sakura. He was laughing so openly, so different all of a sudden. "Could I show it to you?" So sweet._

_"I… I need to go," Tomoyo muttered and she took a few steps back. "I promised Mother I…" She stopped in mid-sentence. She couldn't feel the ground underneath her feet anymore. "Ah-" Her heart skipped a beat. She tripped over the porch's stairs and unfortunately fell backwards. She closed her eyes out of fear for the blow, until her arm was tightly grasped and she was pulled back to the ground. Her nose pressed to the cold, smooth fabric that was Eriol's blue shirt._

_"Mmmph…" She pushed her chin over his shoulder to be able to breathe and talk. "Please forgive me my clumsiness…" Her heart was beating terribly fast._

_Eriol caressed through her hair and pulled her closer to him, his lips almost touching her ear. She could feel his breath on her skin._

_"Don't feel guilty. This inelegant side of yours… I've always thought it was very likeable," he whispered, tightening the embrace. He kissed the back of her hand which he still had in his grasp. "Kaho…"_

_Tomoyo's body shuddered: She felt so scared. She immediately tore herself loose and didn't dare to look at him anymore. "I'm leaving." She heard her voice sounding higher than usual and covered her mouth, frightened. With tears in her eyes, she turned on her feet and ran across the street._

"Daidouji-san? Is it alright with you? I want to help you."

Tomoyo was desperate. She still trembled in fear and she hugged her knees tighter. A shiver ran down her spine when two arms lifted her fragile body up with ease. She sneakily looked through her fingers into Eriol Hiiragizawa's unbelievably blue eyes, which were no longer empty, but marked with emotion.

"I… I just want to go home…" the withered flower whispered, and she hung her head weakly.

--

**A/N:** Thanks for reading and please leave me a review! I'm dying to know what people think...


	4. Chapter 3: Paint Splashes

**Chapter 3 – Paint splashes**

"Eriol, what are you doing?"

Nakuru halted in her step through the long corridor when she met her master halfway. His hairs were still wet from the shower and sticking to his face. He drew his hand through it like it was a comb and pulled it backwards, where after he got a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his glasses off with it. His sky blue shirt was now drenched at the shoulders because of the water that dripped from his heavy locks of hair.

"Nothing special, dearest Ruby Moon."

He put his glasses back on his nose. Nakuru raised an eyebrow and pouted. She looked alongside of him and fixed her eyes upon the bunch of stuff that was floating behind him. She then placed one hand on her hip and pointed at it with the other.

"Planning to move?"

Eriol innocently looked behind him. If a painter's easel, a book, some clothes and a pillow had eyes, they would look just as innocent back at him.

"You could put it that way, yes. I didn't get much sleep last night. My bedroom is too chaotic, you see. I think I'll be staying in the guest chamber this week," he explained to her and snapped his fingers. His belongings zoomed through the space between him and Nakuru to the next room.

Nakuru scratched her head confusedly. "But what's wrong with your bedroom?"

Eriol smiled secretive and passed her, walking to his new chamber. His bare feet somewhat clung to the wooden boards underneath him every time they touched them. His guardian stared at his back, not seeing the corners of his mouth dropping.

"Let's say it has been… defiled."

--

There were always flowers on the ceiling. Plum blossoms. Violet violets with blue hearts. Cherry blossoms. Countless little cherry blossoms, spread across the white surface. The room can no longer be imagined without them.

Tomoyo opens her eyes sleepily and looks up to one huge cherry blossom right above her head, watching over her dreams. She softly moans. Her ankle hurts. She pushes the satin covers off her and tries to sit up straight, so she can look into the mirror facing her four-poster bed. Her cheeks are slightly puffed up and her eyes have shrunk because of the tears. Her beautiful hair is hanging limp and sloppy over her shoulders. Such a disaster. Last night was a complete and utter disaster and it has marked itself on her pale face.

There are three short knocks on the door. Without waiting for an answer, a maid steps inside with a tray in her hands. On her heels she comes further inside, daintily dressed in a dark grey dress that follows her reserved movements.

"Good morning, Tomoyo-sama," she speaks friendly, but with a worried look. "I brought you something to eat. Are you hungry?"

Tomoyo shakily raised the corners of her mouth. "Thank you. You can just put it over there." Her voice sounded fairly normal this time.

The maid nodded and placed the tray on a chair next to her bed. The door closed again. Tomoyo stared at her steaming breakfast, which didn't look tasty at all. She felt nauseous and eating was the least she felt like doing.

She slid on her back again and closed her eyes. Eriol appeared in her mind. Or maybe it was just his touch and the feeling she experienced from it. Goosebumps ran across her arms. Soft, tenderly, lovingly. A protecting force when she was threatened to fall. The feeling of security by being invited into his arms. ...No. She was so afraid. So very afraid…

A tear rolled over her cheek. She pulled the covers over her head. He had carried her home, and you couldn't call it a short walk. She lightly fell asleep on the way. Both hadn't spoken another word. She only woke up again when she was being handed over to a woman, one of the bodyguards. She could tell because she smelled the scent of perfume. Her mother kissed her on the forehead multiple times and caressed her face, while she couldn't stop talking out loud. She could hear Eriol as well. A calm voice amidst the chaos_. I will take all the blame._ When her head touched the pillow, she immediately took off to dreamland, hoping to forget about it all.

"Ah, Daidouji-san. It's me. I wanted to know whether you got home safely, seeing Sakura and I left earlier yesterday. Call me on my cell as soon as you have time, okay? See you." Beep.

Tomoyo grabbed the phone on her night table and softly sucked onto her lip. She couldn't tell them, she couldn't tell anybody. She couldn't find it in her heart to do that. For heaven's sake, what will they think of her if she did? The phone escaped her fingers and hit the floor rattling. Tomoyo hid her face in her hands. She felt so… defiled.

--

The enormous estate was empty. Silent spaces. On her slippers the young woman dragged herself off the long stairs. She heard the clanging of tableware coming from the kitchen and the ticking sound from the maid's heels. People, but not company.

She shuffled towards the hallstand, put on her thick, grey winter coat, pulled the front door open and took a seat on the porch. The wind felt icy. She clutched her cell tightly and then opened it. Slowly she began pushing the buttons and typed in the numbers. It beeped three times.

"_Moshi moshi, Li Syaoran desu_," her childhood friend greeted her through the phone. "Daidouji-san?"

"Good afternoon, Li-san," Tomoyo happily greeted back, even though she felt stupid by grinning when he couldn't even see her. "I'm sorry for responding this late, but my alarm clock decided to stop working today."

"It doesn't matter, I'm happy you call. So I get you received my message?"

"That's right. You shouldn't have worried, I… I made it home eventually." According to Tomoyo, that wasn't a lie.

"Hiiragizawa didn't keep you prisoner for long, I hope?" He sounded hesitatingly. Perhaps he didn't know what he should think of it. "I mean… It was all very intense."

"It went fine," she answered him. "I don't remember the exact time of my arrival home, but as long as everything came out alright, that's not really important, _ne_?"

"I guess you're right," the brown haired young man muttered. There were familiar voices in the background.

"Is Sakura-chan with you?" Tomoyo wondered, noticing the sounds in the background.

"Yes, we're visiting Kinomoto-san," he informed her, and then stayed silent for a moment. A vague male voice spoke. "Oh, he sends you his love. Sakura, no… Not now, I'm having a conversation here… Sakura!"

Some rummaging sounded on the other side of the line and a higher voice now spoke to Tomoyo's ears. "Tomoyo-chan?"

"Sakura-chan, how are you doing?" Tomoyo smiled, forgetting about everything else. She was happy to hear her voice again. "Did you catch up on some sleep?"

"Yes, I'm fine now," Sakura told her. She sounded cheerful, but Tomoyo couldn't tell if she really was now that she couldn't see her. "Now that we're in Tomoeda… Could we meet up? Like having hot chocolate in the café? Please, Tomoyo-chan, it's been so long…" She sounded longingly.

Tomoyo shivered. "Yes, yes, that sounds great. At what time will I see you there?"

"Around three o'clock, is that okay?"

"Sounds good, I'll see you then. My best regards to your father."

Beep. Tomoyo buttoned up her coat. The wind was getting colder, it invisibly sliced her skin. An unheard sigh faded away in the air.

--

Nakuru checked her shopping list and slid the top of her index finger alongside the groceries she already bought. While she was walking through the shopping street she could perfectly avoid her bystanders without looking in front of her.

"Let's see… All that is left now is coffee," she mumbled to herself and blinked at the word that was underlined three times. "Good coffee." She checked her watch: It was precisely three o'clock and she was supposed to be back in half an hour. Her ruby eyes strayed off to a café on the other side of the street.

"Ah…"

Two girls were embracing each other deeply in front of the café's entrance. The one facing Nakuru stared at her from the distance. Her in pink gloves covered hands let her friend's back go and she lifted up the right one to wave. The girl she just hugged turned around and also waved. Their lips moved. Nakuru waved back with the hand in which she held her shopping list. For only a moment she seemed to be stuck to the ground. Her gaze froze by seeing Tomoyo. Something wasn't right. She moved a foot. Her step faltered at first, but it quickly sped up. She ran towards the twosome.

--

With the help of his curly tail, Spinel closed the door behind him. He flew to the bathroom and turned on the tap. The water gushed in high speed down the drain. He held his paw underneath the flow and wiped it off on his head, like a cat. He seemed unsatisfied and now pushed his entire head under the tap. The water flattened his ears. Suddenly, he slipped and rolled into the sink. Grumbling, he crawled back up and turned the tap off again. He unfolded his tiny blue wings and flapped them repeatedly so they could dry.

Downstairs, he heard Nakuru come home. He pricked up his ears. She was putting the bags in the kitchen and placed some things in the fridge. She sighed. Multiple times. Her leather shoes climbed the stairs. Spinel flew towards her to meet her halfway.

She stopped and looked at him with a face on which there was confusion spelled all over. "Suppi… Something's not right. Something's wrong, Suppi…" She didn't seem to notice the little one was soaking wet.

Spinel obviously knew what she was talking about. "I know, you're not the only one. I have to show you something." He led her to Eriol's bedroom, which Eriol had left temporarily that morning, and he pushed the door to open.

Nakuru turned on the light. Her eyes became the size of saucers. Fear.

"What is this…"

There are eyes dripping from the ceiling. Only one is coloured blue greyish, the other one glows like the sun. Used canvases are lying on the floor and the bed is covered in paint stains. The colours everywhere differ from hot to cold. There are hardly any recognizable shapes. They are continuously changing, like the artist didn't know what he wanted.

Paintings from a young woman on the once white walls.

--

**A/N: **Thank you sooo much for reading! Reviews are appreciated a lot, even if it's just to let me know you're reading this. Any tips or advice are welcome as well. So... Review onegai!


	5. Chapter 4: Let Go

**Chapter 4 – Let Go**

"_Three red strings of hair."_

_Ruby Moon counted them laying on the palm of her hand and spread them into the bubbling stuff held above a small fire._

"_An eyeball bearing an amber coloured iris."_

_Spinel swung the vulnerable eye into the large kettle. He accidentally slapped his swishing tail in his fellow guardian's face, whose tall witch's hat__ dropped off her head. Disgruntled, she nudged him in a gentle way and bended through her knees to pick it up. Spinel is wearing the same sort of hat, except for the fact that there are holes cut out of the black fabric, so his pointy ears can pierce through them. He looked at his master expectantly._

_Eriol __was wearing his traditional blue and black coloured robe, one of a full-fledged magician. On top of his head there's a witch's hat, covered in golden stars. It's tall enough to reach the ceiling of the dim cellar. He held a candle in his one hand and a piece of parchment in the other._

"_A moonstone. __Love letters. __Sacrifice those compositions as well, will you now?" He pointed, being somewhat impatient, at a stack of music sheets. "Bring me the photo album, quickly."_

_His subjects worked on rapidly. They got the ingredients out of all kinds of cabinets and drawers and they dumped the objects into the cooking-pot, which groaned like a bottomless stomach. Ruby Moon cut a piece of __rotting cheese in two, one part disappearing into the smoking mixture and the second one into her mouth._

"_Pass me that knife,"__ Eriol said, making a gesture like he sliced something and he snatched it from her hands. He rolled up his sleeve and slid the shallow skin of his arm in one short movement. Scarlet blood flowed from the fresh wound and dripped into the boiler._

_Being curious, Spinel sniffed the now orange soup in which big air bubbles emerged, pushing themselves to the surface and splashing in his face. __He licked his whiskers clean._

"_A tad sour," he remarked disapprovingly. "Is this it?"_

_Eriol shook his head and dragged a big, plaited bag to the cauldron. He rummaged about inside of it, looking for his very last ingredient. His hat slightly slid over his face when he bended over and it shadowed his eyes from view. Shocked, Ruby Moon yelled at what her beloved master was holding in between his hands, just above the boiling cauldron. He smirked. The once kind looking eyes of the raven haired head he had in his grasp stared at her in utter fear. Dead._

Nakuru sat up straight in bed. She's short of breath and anxiously laid a hand onto her chest. _Calm down._ She glanced at her purple alarm clock, which lights up in the dark. It's still early: Five in the morning. She hugged her knees and hid her face between her naked legs. A shiver ran down her slightly uncovered back.

Suddenly, she's taken by surprise when tender musical notes caressed her ears. It's a melancholic melody, accompanied by a mysterious tone in the background, one that carries a somewhat frightening influence. A hint of romance hid itself behind the sorrowful sound. Nakuru took a deep breath and crawled to the other side of the mattress. She turned her bedside lamp on and pulled a fuchsia coloured dressing gown over her bare shoulders. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she continued to listen very carefully and confirmed her thoughts, whereupon she made way towards the floor above her room.

As she walked to the largest chamber on the second floor, the beautiful piano melody deepened. The door was ajar, just opened wide enough to peek through. Nakuru spied on her master with one squeezing right eye and observed him touching the keys of the black grand piano with the help of his slender hands, without making any mistake.

"Can't sleep?"

Startled, Nakuru hit her head on the door. Whimpering in pain, she slipped into the room while rubbing her aching head. "_Mou_… You scared me, I'm not that attentive at an hour like this. And you know it…"

The handsome young man continued to play peacefully, his eyes still closed. "In that case, I'm sorry."

Nakuru draped herself onto the sofa which was covered in comfy red, satin cushions. She felt like she hadn't slept yet at all this night. Her master wore a loosely buttoned shirt and a pair of black slacks. His feet were hidden in sky blue slippers, a pair Spinel ever gave him as a present. He's not wearing any glasses and his dark hair was hanging in front of his face, but he didn't seem to mind.

"I had a nightmare, that's why."

"Hm?"

Pouting, Nakuru turned over to lie down on her belly. "I couldn't sleep because I had a nightmare. I never have any nightmares. I never dream."

"We all dream, Ruby Moon…"

"Well, then I never remember them." She felt a bit nauseous. She didn't like it he wasn't really following their conversation and focused on the piano more than on her. "Eriol… What does it mean when I-"

Eriol's fingers slipped off the keys and he played a few false notes by accident. Coughing, he turned his head away from the piano. Nakuru sat up straight, worried when he didn't seem to stop. She hurried over to him and pulled him up when he was finally finished. His stunning blue eyes were overflowing. The salty fluid ran down his face to his chin and alongside his neck. He didn't make any sound with it, nor expressed any emotion on his face. Just his eyes were significant, even though they looked blurry because of the unexpected tears.

"Eriol…"

She clutched his face with trembling hands and tried to dry his cheeks by wiping her thumbs over his skin, which was meaningless.

"I won't blame you when you will no longer trust me, Ruby Moon," his thin, pale lips spoke to her. "I won't blame you for anything…"

"What are you talking about? You're scaring me, Eriol…" Nakuru brought her face closer to his. Her eyes were filled with tears now as well. "Is it Kaho-san? What is she telling you?"

He laid his hands on hers and gently squeezed them. "I'm not myself any longer. I know you've noticed it, so please don't lie to me. I can hear you, Spinel and you, and sometimes I'm someplace different. Sometimes I can feel her warmth, but she is too hot to grasp. She is danger. I keep on burning myself, Ruby Moon..."

Nakuru bit her lip. Eriol carefully pulled himself loose from her grip and placed his elbows on the piano keys, hiding his face in his hands. A dark tone resounded through the sombre chamber.

--

Tomoyo sucked the tip of her pen, her legs crossed and her right foot kicking lightly into the air. Fortunately, it had stopped to swell and there now was just a thin bandage placed around her ankle.

Business studies couldn't exactly entertain her right now. She glanced at her stylish, black watch. Twenty minutes to go, that seemed like an eternity. The daily lectures didn't help as a distraction from her thoughts. Somewhat dazed, she looked around the class, searching for a certain chocolate brown haired young man.

"Li-kun went to Hong Kong today," Takashi Yamazaki told her, nudging her carefully. By coincidence he took his seat next to her today and, strangely enough, hadn't spoken a word yet during that class.

"Is he now?" Tomoyo remarked blankly. Why didn't he tell her?

"It was urgent," Takashi explained to her, reading her thoughts. "Some contracts he needed to sign. Regarding the family, I presume."

"Hmm, sounds fair," Tomoyo said, the ballpoint still in the corner of her mouth.

It wasn't the first time Syaoran needed to go away for business. Sometimes she wondered why he was still willing to follow his classes. Then again, why did she? Just as him she could easily blend in her mother's company right away. That was the original plan, actually. But to plunge into deep waters all of a sudden was just…

What might Eriol be doing? Living of inherited fortunes?

"Daidouji."

Tomoyo blinked and immediately rose from her seat. "_Hai_?"

"Would you be kind enough to explain the results of this graphic drawing?"

Two weeks. It had been two weeks already, since Tomoyo was carried by a strong man's arms, since she smelled his fresh, natural scent and had engraved it in her memory… And she had never felt so desperate as she did now. Slowly, she started to rake up an answer.

--

Sakura didn't have classes until the afternoon. She pinned a pretty decoration in her light brown hair and waved to herself in the mirror, an excessive smile pasted on her face. However, it didn't last for long.

He had left in the middle of the night and refused to wake her up, even after she had begged him so much to do so. She was drifting in a space between her dream and reality, and couldn't wake from her sleepiness. She could feel his lips brush her cheek and hear him whisper something in her ear, though. But she then quickly dived back into dreamland.

It never was fun when he left for Hong Kong. He usually stayed away for about a week, or even longer. Then she would find herself in an empty home, she would cook dinner by herself and sleep in a cold bed. Luckily there was Tomoyo, who always invited her to come and have dinner at her place. Tomoyo was one of the few friends who still lived with her mother in Tomoeda.

She flipped her pinkish cell open and started ticking in a text message to her fiancé, but erased it half the way. Just what did she want? Tell him she felt lonely? And then what? He would guess she thought he was worthless and would only punish himself for it. He always wanted the best for her. She felt so desperate.

_"Sakura-chan, you're never alone. There always are so many people around you, who care about you and would never leave you to yourself. Don't forget that. We're always there for you."_

A warm, tight embrace. Tomoyo's eyes were unreadable, but at that time at the café, Sakura just wasn't thinking clearly. Her memory had tarnished because of the sorrow that was stuck to her thoughts.

--

**A/N:** Short chapter... Don't really like it myself, to be honest. Next one will be better, promise!  
And yeah, I'm putting in some SxS drama to spice the fic up a bit. It's just a short side story within a story, though. Upcoming chapter will include Nakuru confronting Tomoyo and an accidental meeting between her and Eriol...  
I'm starting to take a liking to Nakuru by the way! Besides from being hyper and ever optimistic, I think she can be very kind and considerate to the ones she loves. (I want to focus on that side of her.)

Well, thanks for reading and please leave me a review! Reviews are such a big help, they always encourage me to write on!

Lots of love,

Miss Seraphine


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